Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Michael Bay: "Transformers 2 was crap"

"We made some mistakes. The real fault with [Transformers 2] is that it ran into a mystical world. When I look back at it, that was crap. The writer's strike was coming hard and fast. It was just a terrible to do a movie where you've got to have a story in three weeks."
Those are some pearls of wisdom that the antichrist of cinema Michael Bay recently spilled to the Empire Magazine from England.  All I can think is, "Transformers 2 was crap? Uhm, thanks for admitting it, but I didn't need you to validate my opinion regarding that waste of everything that has to do with moviemaking known as Transformers 2." The shocking thing in the quote above is Bay's admittance that a film actually needs a story. What?! From what I've seen in his other films, having no story didn't seem to hinder his lust for pyrotechnics. No dialogue, story or plot to Bay just gives him a reason to shoot more guns or blow stuff up. Bay is also quoted as saying he'll "take some of the criticism." No, you'll take ALL of the criticism you talentless hack because you are Michael Bay!

Don't be fooled by this PR blitz by Bay and company trying to reassure the omni-gullible public that Transformers 3: Revenge of the Fallen is going to be anything better than part one or part two of this exorcise in vacuous filmmaking. Trust me, it's going to be more of the same from the man who thinks great cinema is watching giant metal robots based on toys smash into each other for two straight hours. His taste in what is good was stunted before he hit puberty when boys are still obsessed about explosions and the idea of fictional warring toys making a good story that deserves three, yes three films. Who knows how many of these dreadful movies he's going to unleash on the world if people keep forking over money to see them. The smirk on his face in the photo says it all: "I'm the great and 110% awesome Michael Bay. I'm stealing your money when you pay to see me blow shit up. Transformers 2 crap? Yes! But, so was every film I've ever directed and you've made me a friggin' 100 millionaire!" I'd kind of like to slap that smirk right off Bay's face.


Anonymous said...

One can only hope that rising oil and gas prices will somehow put a damper on Michael Bay's films. They're largely a waste of time and money.

Joshua Blevins Peck said...

There are good things that can come from an oil crisis and the restricting of Bay's lust for explosions is one of them. Although, it might produce something even more frightening--Bay attempting to make a film w/out any of his trademarks.

Eva said...

He does look like a 70s porn star there. Maybe he could have that kind of career going if his movies fizzle out. Do we have the genre robot/transformers sex yet?

Joshua Blevins Peck said...

Eva--It's only a matter of time for that probably. I am almost 100% sure that Bay gets somewhat aroused whilst watching stuff blow up. How else to explain the sheer amount it occurs in his films?