Monday, February 28, 2011
6:17 [central time zone] Let the phoniness begin!
6:27...The typical over-reacting TV weathermen are talking about a storm in Kansas. That's right, Kansas. I guess Kansas doesn't have fancy doppler to alert viewers that it's storming? So, I'm not watching the red-carpet festivities due to a ridiculous local TV station.
7:22...I guess the storm is farther into Kansas now since the broadcast is back on. Halle Berry--how can someone so hot keep attaching herself to "loser" guys? At some point, can we start blaming HB for her disastrous romantic choices?
7:38...Co-hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco--lame choices and a lame start. Why couldn't Alec Baldwin host again by himself? Or, anyone else. How can two people who have done as little as Hathaway and Franco get this job? Awh, they want to attract the young. We'll see, but it's not a good start when you've got a mom popping up from stands regarding Hathaway's posture. Cringe.
7:39...Hathaway is acting like she's hosting Saturday Night Live. It's going to be a long night if this is their style.
7:42...So let me understand this--producers wanted to attract a younger demographic for the telecast so right off the bat there's a Gone With the Wind reference? Fifteen minutes in and the show feels like watching paint dry.
7:57...Kirk Douglas is hitting on Hathaway and she's swooning. I just find it sad and exploitive he's out there like this. Melissa Leo wins for supporting actress and is fake, fake, fake. I used to like her, but now I'm not sure. She drops an f-bomb and then steals Douglas cane on the walk-off for some reason.
8:01...That's what Hathaway and Franco call a quip? They are a tag-team of horrible. Hathaway's idea of a quip is to squeal or whoop loudly. She's acting like a cheerleader at a pep-rally. SJ just commented that Franco isn't trying and Hathaway's trying to hard. It's not a good mix.
8:26...Why couldn't Russell Brand and Helen Mirren been the hosts? They have more chemistry than the two nitwits tormenting me at every opportunity. And Franco claimed Ricky Gervais bombed at the Golden Globes? Can someone get these two a mirror so they can see what it truly looks like to bomb?
8:30...Best foreign film Oscar doesn't go to Dogtooth, but rent this Greek film and be blown away.
8:33...I love John Hawkes, but I'm happy for Christian Bale winning for supporting actor. Good speech too. Off the cuff, not overly-scripted, that's how it's done.
8:41...Nicole Kidman's plasticine face on display. I won't mention it.
8:55...Marisa Tomei. Highlight of the evening so far. Let her host!
9:17...Luke Matheny's speech is best of the night so far. I need to see his short God of Love. Let him host!
9:21...The autotune montage is the best moment of the night and I actually laughed for the first time. Two hours in and I hadn't chuckled once, but that was so ridiculous and a jab at how you really need no talent to autotune a melody out.
10:03...Harvey Weinstein just bought Tom Hooper the award for best director. Astute readers know what I'm talking about here.
10:39...Weinstein strikes again! The King's Speech is a good movie, but the man knows how to buy Oscar wins like nobody's business.
Epilogue...One of the worst Oscars in memory. The choice of James Franco and Anne Hathaway was a complete and utter train wreck that supplied enough cringe-worthy moments it might damage their careers slightly. She was like an over-eager kid playing grown-up and he was like a surly kid who didn't want to be on the stage at all. I don't know who came off worse between the pair of them as they were both horrible for different reasons. I know I don't want to see either of them on TV or in a movie for awhile.
Posted by Joshua Blevins Peck at 8:18 AM