Thursday, February 21, 2008

Worst films I saw in 2007

Since I’m not writing reviews for anyone—I wasn’t asked to see new releases that might be awful…so, this is the worst I saw in 2007. These are the unedited reviews taken directly from my Kinetoscope film journal I’ve kept since ’98. These reviews, written the day I’ve seen the film, tend to be short, to the point, comical, full of fragmented sentences and mean-spirited. Maybe I should go over them and choose some interesting old ones to post?

28 Weeks Later—2007—England—watched in Tallinn, Estonia on June 7; Had to get in a second film here in Tallinn. I didn’t like this at all. A vile filled, waste of an opportunity to tell an interesting story about what happens post zombie holocaust. Instead, we get an absurd film about a father (the annoying as usual Robert Carlyle) who lies, then becomes a “zombie,” then follows and hunts down his kids to eat them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carlyle in anything I liked—he is terrible! This was repugnant & a miserable & unenjoyable movie…Highly implausible.

10 Items or Less—2006—Usa—watched in Tulsa, Okla. on September 9; Terrible. Absolute dreck! Probably the worst film I’ll see all year. The film is just so unbelievably inauthentic and phony from start to finish. Morgan Freeman is a big time movie star who wears $100 t-shirts & claims to be blown away by Target yet is wearing friggin’ Wranglers! Enough said. Even the gorgeous sexpot Paz Vega can’t save this train wreck. Plus, it’s only 70 minutes long. Considering how shite this is—that is a favor.

RV—2006—Usa—watched in Tulsa, Okla. on Novermber 16; This was terrible. Really really bad. Not funny. Painfully unfunny. Embarrassingly unfunny. I only watched this because Jeff Daniels with a big mustache was in the cast. That wasn’t enough. Even with a good ‘stache. Robin Williams is hard to watch. When he’s bad—it’s train wreck bad. Dreck!

6 comments:

Uncle Joe said...

who are u gonna vote for?

Replicant said...

for what? worst film of the year: 10 Items or Less.

Best film? wait and see in a future post...

for president? try to keep the politics of c-robot but anyone who knows me knows which direction i lean, ha.

Uncle Joe said...

vote for Pat.
come on over the the blog side.
(my blog)

Guy Gadbois said...

Without having seen RV, I'd say no brainer. I've yet to see 28 weeks later, so you've saved 99 minutes of my life. Thanks you, Dear Leader.

Replicant said...

Re: 28 Weeks Later--some people liked this film...I obviously wasn't one of them.

Replicant said...

I forgot to mention another film I really hated: LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. I didn't believe a second of it.