Thoughts on the Oscar telecast

6ish—Gary Busey scares Jennifer Garner on red carpet with a powerful bear hug/neck kiss. She then refers to the 75% loony Busey as “this man”—obviously not recognizing who he is.

7:05—John Travolta interviewed on ABC—HD reveals face lifts and a horrible chia pet styled toupee. My God man—get rid of the toupee!

7:47—Host Jon Stewart’s monologue ends. I like Stewart so I enjoyed it. Without trying too hard he’s pithy with his barbs of loving mockery. I’m just glad it wasn’t Whoopi Goldberg up there.

8:02—I’m a big fan of Amy Adams (she did make the recent Top5 after all) but that song from Enchanted is quite annoying.

8:20—Fifty minutes into the telecast and we finally get to the first important award for supporting actor. This was a no-brainer: Javier Bardem for No Country For Old Men. Although I’m a Phillip Seymour Hoffman fan, I can’t really argue with Bardem winning, as he was mesmerizing in that role.

8:32—The irritating Jerry Seinfeld in animated bee guise shows up and the bee’s haircut is nearly identical to that rug Travolta was wearing. I am baffled, he makes millions and millions of dollars and he wears a toupee that looks like an animated bee head?

8:40—Best supporting actress was a bit of a surprise. I thought Cate Blanchett had it easy for I’m Not There but Tilda Swinton won it for her Michael Clayton role. I was relieved Ruby Dee didn’t win for her whopping 90 seconds of screen time. Swinton gave a funny little speech but unfortunately was wearing something that resembled a hefty bag made out of velvet. What an ugly dress!

8:50—Quasi-hermit writer Cormac McCarthy is shown in the audience. What’s next—Thomas Pynchon coming out to sing a song?

9:15—Marion Cotillard wins best actress and I’m kind of sad. I’ve had a crush on her in little movies for years and before tonight she was a French secret—known only to male film geeks. Now that’s ruined.

9:19—Colin Farrell is an idiot.

9:24—Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova performing their song “Falling Slowly” is my favorite moment of the night so far—it might only be topped by the pair actually winning. The other nominated songs are more Broadway show-tunes—which makes this one even better.

9:49—Yes! Hansard and Irglova do win for best song. Afterward, Stewart got off one of his best quips of the night regarding Hansard’s surprised and awestruck speech—“that guy is so arrogant.” Funny. Thanks to Stewart for bringing out Marketa and letting her give her speech after the show’s director cut her off. Seeing them win and their joy makes the entire night worth it.

10:26—Diablo Cody wins best screenplay and is wearing a get up that looks like she’s Betty Page channeling Jane—as in Tarzan. Wow, we have a battle for worst outfit: Cody and her animal print vs. Swinton and her hefty bag.

10:35—Daniel Day-Lewis wins best actor and uses a bunch of words that might go over the heads of some viewers—it’s nice to be literate and speak like a poet. I bow down to the guy so it’s kind of rough for me to think about not seeing him in another movie for years and years.