Monday, July 05, 2010

The Human Centipede + Dieter Laser

Over the weekend I was goaded into watching The Human Centipede at about one in the morning on a Saturday night. Normally, peer pressure never works on me but it was movie related and I was killing time at Circle Cinema until 2.30am, when the midnight screening of Close Encounters of the Third Kind ended. What else was I going to be doing at 2 in the morning except watch The Human Centipede?

Without watching it and based on a lot of buzz about how disgusting it is, I booked The Human Centipede a few weeks back to be the Circle's August midnight movie. I wasn't even planning on watching it because horror films with a sadistic streak or torture aren't usually my thing.

If you aren't familiar with The Human Centipede's plot, here it is in one paragraph. A German surgeon dreams of creating a "human centipede" with three compatible victims (he's done it before with three dogs). The complicated (and disgusting) surgery involves attaching people to one another via their mouth to the anus. I warned you, it's revolting--and I'm not even going into the really gross details. When attached, the trio have to crawl around on hand + knee as the surgeon gets his kicks and trains them like a pet.

The film did nauseate me--which meant it was a success?--but while watching it I may have discovered the best named actor working in movies in the world. The surgeon was played to the hilt by a German actor named Dieter Laser. Try that out again: Dieter Laser. Wow. I'm blown away by Mr. Laser's name! I kind of wish my name was Joshua Laser. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Working in TV/film for over forty years, Dieter Laser (I have to keep writing it) should have been a star based on his name alone. What makes this such a great name is it translates to just about anything--band name, name of scientist, videogame from the 1980s, comic book villain, porn actor name, crime syndicate boss and actor. It just sounds good to say it: Dieter Laser.

The Human Centipede is memorable for its shock value but the true find is finding out about its lead actor, Dieter Laser, who has maybe the best name in the history of movies.

1 comment:

Bungle said...

I loved the flick--thanks again for booking it--and was equally floored by Dieter Laser's name. His performance, too. Wicked.

"My sweet three-dog..."