Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Snorin' and Poopin'

Recently I went to see Revolutionary Road at a local multiplex. After running into my friend David in the lobby I decided to theatre hop for a second, free film. We settled on a late night screening of Deviance.

It was the 9.30 screening. We sat in the middle with only a few others in the theatre. Early on the sound of snoring and brief snorts started coming from the row in front of us. They'd stop and start, stop and start. Every time I looked over the chair backs to see what was going on the guy would be quiet with no snoring/snorting.

At around the forty minutes left in Defiance mark, the guy gets up and sort of weaves his way from the theatre. David and I kind of look at each other and grin as the guy was struggling to make it out. Little did I know his exit might have been because he had more issues than finding a place to get some sleep.

I was in the midst of a cold and couldn't smell anything. This was a lucky break for me it turns out. When the film ended I said to David--

"Thank goodness Mr. Snorey left to go sleep somewhere else."
"That wasn't the only thing he left for."
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't smell anything?"
"Right before he left I think he shat himself."
"Yeah, a few minutes before he left it started to smell pretty awful up here."
"I've got this cold! We should have moved. If there's ever reason to move seats--that's got to be one."

So there you have it. A story of theatre hopping, snoring and some guy pooping his pants in a Tulsa multiplex.


Rumblefish said...

Perhaps that was meant as the man's review of the film. Or, maybe he thought it was so good that he didn't want to leave to use the bathroom.

Replicant said...

The worst thing about it that I left out was that the guy was a biker and was wearing leather pants!

BB said...

I didn't think this story could get "better", but the part about the leather pants put it over the top.