The Outsiders

I’ve been itching and itching for months to revisit the world of 1950s Tulsa in S.E. Hinton’s classic youth novel, seen through Francis Ford Coppola, that is The Outsiders, and finally got a chance to see one of my favorites when I was a teenager.

I loved The Outsiders (1983) and anything else connected to S.E. Hinton as a kid growing up. The main reason I loved her books, and the films based on them, is they were set in Oklahoma. I truly loved seeing something, anything, set in the world and the surroundings I felt a deep familiarity at the time. Add in the fact I was a teenager reading about other teenagers only increased my enjoyment level.

Flash forward to the present and watching the newly released director’s cut (with 22 minutes of new footage added to it) of a film I haven’t seen in at least in a decade and a half. Is it still as beloved a film as I remember it being? In a word: yes!

The Outsiders moved me when I was a kid and it still does despite some negatives popping up I didn’t notice when I was a kid. One big issue is some over-acting done by some of the cast who were largely a group of unknowns or just beginners. The story does get a tad hokey and melodramatic at times, but to be completely honest, that’s part of the charm of S.E. Hinton’s books. They are not full of a lot of grays as the teenagers are full of angst and rage. They are teenagers after all.

This cast is legendary for the amount of future stars: Tom Cruise, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell (who for part of the 1980s was as big as any of them), Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez and Ralph Macchio were all Greasers and Leif Garrett and Diane Lane play two Socs. Tell me that isn’t just a ridiculous cast assembled for The Outsiders.

One of the coolest things about this film is it begins and ends with shots of The Circle (with a Paul Newman picture playing) and it has some terrific Admiral Twin Drive-In footage that moves me to no end. Put a drive-in in a movie (especially one I really love and have been to since I was a kid) and I’m a happy camper.

I loved seeing parts of Tulsa that you wouldn’t normally see—the blue collar, untainted by chains Tulsa that I wish was still more prevalent. A few place in the film have gone the way of the wrecking ball. Sadly, twenty years can erase a lot of architecture as the chain ideology swallows up all hints of “locality” no matter if its Tulsa or Albuquerque. I know I’m not going out on a limb but chains are evil.

The Outsiders was a favorite of my youth and while still not as powerful, I still really love it, as it's kind of a magical picture for me no matter how old I am when I watch it. Stay gold everybody, stay gold.

The Baxter

The pressure is always on when you watch a film that a friend really liked and urges you to watch. That’s the case with The Baxter (2005) as The Hidden Staircase told me last month that she liked it and I would too. So, I watched it, and I hate to say that I didn’t like it!

It was kind of a sinking feeling as I watched it when I knew that I was either going to have to tell her I didn’t like it or she’d read about it on CineRobot. I promise I tried as hard as I could to like this film. I really wanted to enjoy The Baxter so we could be in agreement but in the end I just couldn’t do it.

I liked the premise of this romantic comedy—how there are men out in the world who are “baxters.” A baxter is an oddball, a second fiddle, a male out of step with the rest of the world and the kind of guy who gets left at the alter by women and are doomed to play the role of “best friend” over and over. The film follows such a baxter as he meets and courts a lovelier, more “with it” female in the form of Elizabeth Banks.

Writer/director Michael Showalter has cast himself as the film’s lead baxter—Elliot. My biggest issue in the film was Showalter himself as the leading man. I found Showalter incredibly annoying and did not believe for one second that this nerdier than nerdy Elliot could meet and then possibly marry someone like Banks as Caroline Swann. No way.

Showalter is clearly limited as an actor in a full-length picture. At times the film feels like a bloated up short film or piece of sketch comedy (the area that Showalter and cohorts have resided in for a long time—way back to The State or recently Reno 911 or Stella). Had someone else been in this lead role I may have liked this a little more than I did.

I did enjoy elements of this—Michelle Williams (who is now a possible “Top5” candidate) was absolutely adorable as a sweet newcomer to town who secretly pines for Elliot in such a bright eyed way he’s completely ignorant of (he’s a baxter after all, cluelessness is part of the character). Michael Ian Black had some humorous bits as Elliot’s neighbor and good friend. And I did like some of the sweet little elements that were buried by my annoyance of Showalter himself.

So, I know I’m disappointing The Hidden Staircase in how I feel about a film that was recommended to me, but what can I do, you feel the way you feel. You either like it or you don’t, it’s that simple. While I didn't despise The Baxter, it was just okay despite how much I wanted it to rise above “okay” and into the category of good.

The Other Hollywood book review

The Other Hollywood: The Uncensored Oral History of the Porn Film Industry by Legs McNeil and Jennifer Osborne (who also did the highly recommended oral history of New York punk rock Please Kill Me) is a seedy, sleazy and frequently riveting account of this world that has been largely underground despite the fact that porn generates billions of dollars a year in business. The book goes back to discuss the beginnings of the industry to the current.

I love oral histories when they are well done and McNeil/Osborne spend a majority of the 600+ pages looking into the early days of porn (1970s to early 1980s) when it was completely off the radar but still creating a tremendous amount of revenue, connected to the world of the mob and could get you tossed in jail for a variety of legal infractions depending on the state.

I knew little about these early days (or any of this actually) and loved reading about the unhinged 1970s films that have stamped themselves onto American culture (Deep Throat for example). Other subjects include John Holmes’ rise to fame and fall back down due to drug addiction, Traci Lords and her underage scandal, the various lifestyles of the people involved as they delve into all kinds of risky behavior (lots of sex, lots of drugs), mafia/FBI related issues, the transition from film to videos on the cheap and the affect of AIDS.

The interviews are lively, blunt and frequently on the filthy side when a performer is remembering other performers, films or how they were drawn into the business. It gets a bit repetitive by the end but for the most part this is an engaging, addictive look into the world of the porn film industry.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Long lay-off. I’ve been extremely busier than usual and just haven’t had the time to write anything about anything for the past couple of weeks. That’s going to change for the next month at the very least, as I plan on reviewing or discussing every single film I see (like I used to do in Kinetoscope if you remember those days). Might be long, might be short, but all will be covered.

We screened a pristine print of Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn a few nights ago at the Circle as apart of the Midnight series. I hadn’t seen it in so long, at least a decade. I was completely blown away by how fun this movie is. It’s not really that gory and violent, it’s just an explosion of kinetic energy and over the top comedy from director Sam Raimi.

It was the comedy that surprised me the most. I remember it being funny but I didn’t remember all the elements of physical comedy that Raimi employs throughout the film. And one of my long-time favorites, Bruce Campbell gets to let loose some killer lines (the “Groovy” in the woodshed being the most enjoyable) and great “b-film” acting.

Plus, I have to say seeing this at a nearly packed theatre full of Deadites cheering, laughing and hollering out encouragement to Ash to kill is the absolute perfect environment to watch Evil Dead 2. It’s one of those films made for midnight. Great, great fun.

Pulling pranks on a movie audience

Surely everyone knows that it is against the law to run into a movie theatre and scream out, “FIRE!” Well, is it okay to pull a prank on a group of people who have shown up to see a midnight movie and then get something unexpected? I think so, and that’s just what we did April Fool’s weekend at Circle Cinema.

Months and months ago a plan was hatched at just what we could do to the people thinking they’d shown up to see the cult classic 1983 film Repo Man. It was decided that those in attendance would get a completely different film when the lights go dark. Instead of the punk rock infused Repo Man, the audience would get a cruel dose of Bette Midler and her tearjerker Beaches. I know, I know, it’s painful just to think about, right?

Here’s how the prank went down. The crowd begins to filter in around 11.30 with an album by X called “Los Angeles” playing on the stereo. They hang out in the lobby talking about seeing Repo Man or watching the lightning storm that was taking place outside the theatre. At around 11.45 people begin to go in and sit down while Black Flag is playing loudly in the theatre.

Midnight comes and I go in and give my usual spiel about what films are coming at the Circle and tell them to enjoy the first screening of Repo Man in Tulsa since 1983. Lights go dark. I run up to the projector’s booth to watch people’s reactions when the ungodly sight of Beaches hits them.

Very early in the film people are turning to each other and saying things like, “Is this Beaches?” “I think this is Beaches?” “Oh, dude, this is Beaches!”

If you don’t recall Beaches, about two minutes into the film Bette Midler turns around while singing some hideously cheesy song with this grin on her face and that’s when people inside had enough. A few people raised both arms in the air while looking back at the both and hollering out, “What in the hell?!”

Our plan was to show Beaches until someone came out of the theatre to complain—if it took 10 minutes we were committed to showing 10 minutes of Beaches. It took 2 minutes. One guy in his 20s vaulted out of his seat like he’d been prodded with a electric cattle rod and came hustling out into the lobby.

“Dude, they are showing Beaches in there!” he proclaimed.
“What?” I said trying to be stone faced and confused.
“Beaches dude, Beaches!” he hollered out.

I went into the darkened theatre as GrgY stopped the film. I announced to the restless and uncertain audience that we’ve been having a lot of issues with our distributor in Dallas and I wasn’t sure what the problem was. I told them we didn’t get the print until this afternoon and didn’t have time to really check it before loading it onto the platter. The audience was talking loudly to each other about Beaches and didn’t seem to get what was going on.

GrgY announces over the P.A. for the audience to hear, “Replicant (well, he used my real name), could you come up to the booth for a second?” and I head up to where he’s red-faced from laughing. We nod at each other and wait 30 seconds before GrgY gets back on the P.A. and tells the befuddled audience in his best “Voice-of-God-delivering-bad-news" tone the following:

“Uhm, ladies and gentleman. I’m sorry to inform you that there’s been sort of a mix-up with our distributor and, uhm, they’ve sent the wrong film. Also, we’ve already shut down our computers and we can’t offer a refund at this time and since that is the case, we hope that you’ll sit back and enjoy Beaches.”

And we kill the lights and start up Beaches again! The crowd is moaning and saying stuff to me and to each other loudly. We run Beaches for about 30 seconds before we come out and reveal that it was just a joke but let them know if they’d prefer to watch Beaches they could. “That’s evil, man!” one person exclaimed. “No!” was the response and when Repo Man began for real and Iggy Pop came blaring out of the speakers the crowd broke into an impassioned cheer.

The Bird People In China

A few years ago some friends and I had a real Takashi Miike phase. It started in 2000 when we saw Audition at the Seattle Film Fest and I was riveted by the gruesome, macabre, chilling, stylish attitude that the Japanese Miike put out in that film.

Many more Miike films followed over the next couple of years but I kind of grew tired of the overt violence of his films after I saw Ichi the Killer in 2003. How many times can you see depraved yakuza drown women in a pool of vomit and shit or some of the other crazed moments he’s filmed? Well, I saw The Bird People In China a few nights ago and was completely swept away by its magical story very unlike anything else I’ve seen from Miike.

Filmed in 1998, I knew I was going to like this right off the bat as a narrator talks about 10,000 sleeps with no dreams of flying like a bird. Then seconds later the same young guy is riding on a train while sticking his arm out of the window recording the sound of the wheel tracks. This is my kind of guy, talking about sleep and recording the sound of a train. A romantic, like myself.

The narrator is a young business guy sent to China to look into the possibility of a find of rare jade. He journeys into rural China—which is strikingly green, lush and very beautiful. Things take a drastic turn when a yakuza also interested in the jade shows up glaring and swearing at everyone.

The most surprising thing about The Bird People In China early on is the comedy. Miike always has had a warped, twisted level of comedy in some of his films (The Happiness of the Katakuris being the most upfront comedy wise) but the comedy is full of all kinds of bits of business that I was not suspecting at all. It was a welcome surprise to see in a Miike film for me.

The film changes again halfway in and it becomes a slow, ruminative, quiet film of contemplation—another surprise from Miike—with lots of magical elements tossed into the story. I was completely captivated and watching this made me wish he’d branch out more and do less crime films that he seems to prefer directing. Maybe the money is in him filming people killing each other?

The Bird People In China is a beautifully made little film from one of Japan’s more interesting directors. The film shows Miike has a heart to go along with all his savagery and anger he’s expressed over the years. I’m so happy to see that heart even if it's just a one time thing.

V For Vendetta

It seems anything remotely resembling a political or social statement is filtered through a post-9/11 world we all live in. Often times whatever is being discussed has nothing to do with 9/11 or the turmoil that has erupted around the world in its aftermath. Enter V For Vendetta, the first large, blockbuster to address a variety of touchy subjects that you’d think the “9/11” mindset would frown upon.

Long delayed due to the London subway bombings, V For Vendetta is a film rife with built in controversy and one that has had people eagerly waiting for it to hit theatres. It’s now in multiplexes across America but are we ready to see a film where the hero is a terrorist? I hope so, no matter if the film is good or not, just for the simple fact we can step out of 9/11’s shadow nearly five years after the 2001 attacks.

Produced and written by the Wachowski Brothers—The Matrix—and directed by a protégé, James McTeigue, V For Vendetta has some important and thrilling things to say but I left the theatre wishing it had been subtler in its message. V For Vendetta is so eager to hammer home its points that at times it gets lost in its concentrated effort to do so. Subtle it is not.

The year is sometime around 2027 and the setting is London. The United States is embroiled in its second Civil War and chaos rules around the globe because of it. England is ruled by an ultra right wing totalitarian state that has crushed the people’s freedoms in the guise of their own protection.

The streets have posters of propaganda with expressions such as “Strength Through Unity, Unity Through Faith” and “A Curfew Is For Your Protection.” Government police use listening devices to eavesdrop on what citizens say in the privacy of their own houses.

Natalie Portman plays Evey, a young woman who is out after curfew and who is accosted by police thugs when a mysterious masked man arrives to fight off her attackers. Evey’s life is changed forever as this masked man—V—opens up her world to his revolutionary causes.

V, played by Hugo Weaving (The Matrix), takes his message to the people by blowing up governmental buildings, going on extremely erudite rants drowning in alliteration about how things ought to be. V wears a Guy Fawkes (17th century British revolutionary involved in the failed Gunpowder Plot) mask the entire film—which is kind of distracting at times to be perfectly honest—and has assembled a chamber of forbidden items called the “Shadow Gallery.” The government, like all totalitarian regimes, is frightened of anything that fits against their tightly controlled world.

The look of the film is full of great retro-future design (it is based on a graphic novel after all), lots of reds and blacks and is obviously in the future but not so different that it renders the setting unbelievable. Like The Matrix, V For Vendetta wants to be a big action film but about ideas rather than action itself. The action that does occur feels almost out of place to me.

It’s all very reminiscent of “Big Brother” and George Orwell’s dystopian nightmare in his novel 1984 (one of my favorite novels). V For Vendetta is then run through the prism of current events with issues such as war, the erosion of civil liberties worldwide, media manipulation of the truth, and the fact that those who lead us around the globe are very corruptible and are more similar than different, no matter their political persuasion.

V For Vendetta has a scary premise whose believability might be tied to where each person watching it exists on the political spectrum. It’s a cautionary tale in the tradition of 1984 or Brave New World that raises warnings regarding how the freedoms we’ve enjoyed should never be endangered because we might be frightened of something happening or because our government says to think this way or that way.

As the credits rolled and I walked out into the rainy Oklahoma night, I found myself thinking about ideas such as how we’ve lost some of our revolutionary spark that our nation was founded on. If that is what the makers of V For Vendetta wanted to accomplish, then they were successful.

Punching Matthew McConaughey in the face

Sometimes I dream about an actor/actress I like, sometimes I dream about one I can't stand. A few nights ago I dreamt of one of my least liked--Matthew McConaughey. Believe me, had I been controlling the dream I'd have put someone other than him in it. There's a lot to dislike about the guy--he can't act, he's had a hair transplant or on Rogaine or something to reverse his receding hairline, he's always flashing the damned hook 'em horns sign (I'm from Oklahoma, born and bred, went to Univ. of Oklahoma, so, you might as well be peeing on my leg with that stupid horn sign).

So, you can imagine my subconscious horror when I found McConaughey in my dream, right up in my face flashing me that damned hook 'em horns sign! The good part is it was a dream and I cold-cocked the guy and sent him down to the ground. What fun it was too let me tell you as what could have been a horrible dream turned into something special I'll have forever: getting to punch Matthew McConaughey right in the face.

We should all be as lucky getting to knockout someone we loathe in dreamland. Makes me think of a good question for anyone reading this: who would you like to punch out in a dream from the film world? Come on, let your inner urges out in the comment box.

Nine Songs

I’ve seen a lot of strange, weird, kinky and pushing the envelope films over the years. I try to seek out the new stuff just to see new cinematic boundaries destroyed and created. Very early in director Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs I realized I was watching the dirtiest, most graphic sex scenes I’d ever seen in a mainstream film. Honestly, I often couldn’t believe what I was seeing take place.

Some might label 9 Songs pornography and I really couldn’t argue with them—it’s that graphic. Winterbottom is a serious English director who has made films such as Welcome to Sarajevo, The Claim, 24 Hour Party People and Code 46 (which I reviewed on CineRobot a few months ago). I gave 9 Songs a chance because of his filmography and I wanted to see if it was as graphic and naughty as I’d read it was. Believe me, it is.

There are really only two things that happen in 9 Songs. The first is showing this couple in their 20s going to see good bands at London’s Brixton Academy (Super Furry Animals, Elbow etc) and the second is showing the same couple having lots of sex, lots and lots of graphic sex with a capital X.

I kept thinking as I watched some of the sex scenes—are these “real” actors? If these were porn actors no biggie as they’ll do just about anything on a camera but “real” actors doing this kind of stuff is hard to believe. Question #2—how in the hell did Winterbottom get these two people to do this stuff on film? I guess these days you’ll find people who’ll do anything thinking it will either launch their careers or that they are making “art.”

9 Songs is a terrible movie. Its whole angle is the REAL sex as there are no characters, there’s a bunch of laughable dialogue between the leads, there’s little chemistry between them even though they are naked all the time and there’s a silly Antarctica element to the story. Good bands though (SFA!) but at even 67 minutes long it feels bloated and too long.

I hardly think of myself as a prude or someone who is easily offended but I don’t see the point. If I want to see people having real sex I’d rent a porno or something. 9 Songs just seems really pretentious, hollow and screams “Look at me!” over and over with its sex scenes when it has nothing else going for it.

But 9 Songs is the new title-holder of the dirtiest mainstream film I’ve ever seen. I guess that’s something, not sure what, but it’s something.

WarGames

WarGames (1983) was a favorite of mine in my early teens when I first saw it. Recently I re-watched it and found it still an enjoyable nuclear, techno thriller that captures some of the 1980s nuclear war paranoia that the Cold War was still creating.

WarGames was one of the first films to introduce the computer, or technology, as one of the main stars or aspects of the story. Watching the film in 2006 makes the technology extremely primitive but that’s part of the charm of the film. The raw, low-tech computers almost “time capsule” the film in the era of the early ‘80s and I kind of like that. Plus, I could listen to the computer speak in its “robot” voice all movie long.

Matthew Broderick plays a high school computer geek, who spends his time hacking, playing video games (there’s some great Galaga action in the movie!), doing poorly at school and romancing a classmate (Ally Sheedy) by going into the school’s system and changing her grade.

When I saw this in 1983 I thought nothing could be cooler than hacking into the school’s computer and altering my grade. Unfortunately, I’d never even touched a computer and doubt the school in my small Oklahoma hometown even had one. So, the whole concept of the film was fantastical and futuristic to me—no matter how “old” the computers look 23 years later.

Broderick gets into trouble when he hacks a government program known as “Joshua” that imitates very realistic war simulations that fool military officials into thinking the U.S.S.R. is launching nukes at us! Broderick is arrested and then goes on an adventure trying to stave off nuclear war by understanding “Joshua.”

WarGames has a sweet, pro-geek story that is surprisingly to the point. The hero is a computer geek (before the term was mainstreamed and connected to technology lovin’ folks) obsessed with video games yet who can also save the world. He even gets to romance the All-American beauty Sheedy (who I had a massive crush on as a teenager). WarGames never portrays Broderick as a geek but as a “can do” teenager and that’s one reason the film holds up well through the years.

WarGames is a gem from director John Badham that deserves to be seen again as it is one of the smarter teen orientated films from the era.

The solitude of movie watching

Thanks to GrgY who did some fancy bar & pie that show just how many movies I see alone over the years since I've been tracking the "stats" in Kinetoscope--my old school film zine I used to do, starting in 1998.

Graph #1: a year by year breakdown starting in '98 of how many films I saw each year with an escort v. completely alone. I didn't realize until I saw GrgY's graph how many films I saw last year by myself. Kind of sad really.

Graph #2: a raw total of all films I've seen from 1998-2005 done in a nice simple pie.

I guess it's obvious from these graphs that I need to make some movie loving friends that can keep me company during my film watching--at least to cut down the number to 50%. That might be a pipe dream though as in 2006 I've seen 40 films, 7 with other people. That's the beginnings of another sad and ugly graph I'm afraid.

Watching the oscars

It’s that time of the year again. This is the weekend I feel both pleasure and disgust (often in the breadth of a few seconds) while gorging myself on the Hollywood slap-ourselves-on-the-back experience that is Oscar. Each year I tell myself, “I don’t care.” Yet, I find myself every Sunday afternoon being drawn in and watching the train wreck festivities like I have cash money riding on the outcome of best costume design. Go Gabriella Pescucci! It’s a sickness I have. The disease is known as “Filmgeekicitus” and there is no cure.

Like any true Hollywood film fan I am drawn into the glamour of the Oscars. This often means starting early with the red carpet love-a-thon. The red carpet is for the beautiful people, the stars and starlets—who may or may not be nominated—to be swathed in haute couture dresses and millions of dollars of jewels and make inane conversation with annoying “journalists.”

I enjoy mocking the celebrities and seeing who will embarrass themselves as much as I enjoy watching who wins or loses an award. This is the appeal of the red carpet festivities—maximum mocking opportunities regarding who says what while wearing what. The whole mocking experience is key to me all night long as it’s always fun to make fun of the winners when they cry and ramble on and make political statements and generally act as if they are the most important person on earth. In their ego-starved view of the world—they ARE the most important person—and therefore deserve every barb that comes their way.

It’s precisely at this point that I will have my first blow up of the evening as I go on my annual rant regarding a particular famous female comedian (Joan Rivers) and her daughter (Melissa) who are red carpet staples. This diatribe usually involves the alien life form that mom is “evolving” into thanks to various knife-work and the fact that her daughter is a no talent hack who can thank the Hollywood god of Nepotism or she’d be living in Bakersfield married to a truck driver and dreaming of all the plastic surgery she could do.

A new favorite of the red carpet interview has to be Isaac Mizrahi. This guy will ask these stars all kinds of crazy questions that a straight guy couldn't get away with in a thousand years. At the Golden Globes I saw him quasi-fondle Scarlett Johansson's breasts the lucky devil. At the Grammy's he actually asked one woman if she was "shaved." So, I'll be tuning in to ol' naughty Isaac to see what he asks next and the celebrities who have said they are upset by this should just shut it and go let that hack Melissa ask some boring questions.

Part of my enjoyment of the Oscars depends on the host. This year’s host, Jon Stewart, gives me a lot of hope. I am a fan of Stewart’s scathing rabble-rousing political comedy and hope he gets to unleash some of that during the telecast. But I don’t think that will happen as Chris Rock was the host in 2005 and he was almost sanitized of that certain “Rock”ness. Compared to safe, boring and unfunny hosts such as Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal—Stewart as host will either be genius or a one time event ala David Letterman and his still silly “Uma/Oprah” bit.

So, after Stewart’s opening monologue we’ll get a few early awards for supporting actor and actress and then two hours of fluff before the big awards come out in the last hour. Although, one of my favorite parts of the telecast—the lengthy tribute to those who died during the year occurs before the big awards and I never try to miss that.

There will be movies/actors I root for (Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote) and movies/actors I will root against (Munich, Walk the Line and Steven Spielberg). I will go on at least 10 rants about which actor got an award they shouldn’t have, how long this is taking, so and so looks awesome/awful and the like.

Watching the telecast with others who share a love of ridicule can make the event faster and more enjoyable. Plus, it’s kind of sad to sit alone and complain to the television about the ridiculous amount of awards given to this or that film like Return of the King a few years back (I plead the fifth regarding this).

The whole thing will fill me with kind of a shame (also known as guilty pleasure) and I will swear that next year I am not watching such a useless, absurd event. But, my case of “Filmgeekicitus” will take hold. I will see the red carpet, the sashaying starlets and the famous mother/daughter tandem that I loathe and I won’t be able to control myself.

I Heart Don Knotts: 1924-2006

Don Knotts is one of my all-time favorite comedians and his character Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show is without a doubt the most beloved character in TV history for me. The first time I went to Hollywood, the only star on the walk of fame I had a picture next to was Knotts. I've been watching and rewatching his characters over and over since I was a kid and didn't really even know how to spell his name. So, when I found out that he’d passed away at the age of 81, it left me kind of stunned and heartsick.

What was strange about the timing is that on Friday night I was at the Circle Cinema midnight movie of The Big Lebowski. After it was over I was out in the lobby talking about various film related topics with my friend Cameron. We started talking about Knotts as Cameron is a big fan as well and he was telling me about Knotts on episodes of Scooby Do that I can’t remember for the life of me. Since we were talking after the film, Knotts was already dead as we talked about him, so maybe we were just "aware" he was gone but not really "knowing" it yet.

Then Saturday afternoon I watched 3 or 4 episodes of Andy Griffith as I just got Season 2 as a birthday gift—I still didn’t know Knotts had passed away. Later in the evening I found out and just couldn’t believe it since I was talking to Cameron and watching some of the old episodes. Weird.

I’ve talked to people over the years about Knotts and unfortunately people get kind of snobby about him, which is a shame. Maybe they see him only connected to the Disney family films he did and he’s not “cool” enough for them?

That’s too bad as Knotts in my opinion was one of the best physical comedians of all time and his Barney Fife character will be watched for decades and decades and decades.

His comic timing is an incredible thing to watch when playing Fife and his influence on other comic actors who use their faces, bodies and speech is seen everywhere. If you don’t think this is true you either haven’t watched Knotts as Fife enough to see how many people have soaked up his mannerisms. His influence ranges everywhere from Michael Richards as Kramer to Jim Carrey to Billy Bob Thornton and on and on.

I truly believe that the Don Knotts’ era of The Andy Griffith Show is the greatest TV comedy EVER. One thing that makes it so special is it isn’t just about jokes jokes jokes. Yes, it’s funny but the humor is attached to something more important: human characters!

The characters on that show have been created by a tremendous amount of love, intelligence and depth. They have a warmth, openness and emotional honesty that perfectly blend together that it will be difficult for any show to create those same elements and duplicate them.

Knotts’ Fife was the bedrock of the show as when he left in 1966 the show went downhill in a hurry. Knotts was nominated for five Emmys and won all five times for Fife. It’s a character that is so perfect that it will truly live on well after I’m buried in a pine box in Eastern Oklahoma.

***Virginia Hefferman writes about Knotts and his life and career in New York Times*** Highly recommended for fellow Knotts fans!

New Pink Panther: unfunny disaster or genius propaganda?

Peter Sellers must be spinning in his grave right now. Why? Because Hollywood has decided that people can’t watch his films via DVD and they’ve remade a film character that no one else should ever touch. I’m talking about Inspector Clouseau, the lovable, bumbling French detective.

Hollywood will remake anything they are so out of ideas. They’ll re-do b-films or horror films from the ‘70s (A Race With the Devil, The Omen, The Hills Have Eyes), bad ‘70s TV (come on, did we really need to see Bo and Luke Duke jump over trains and bodies of water while yelling “Yeehaw!” on the big screen?) and even classics like Charade, Psycho and The Pink Panther have been redone.

I guess the target audience is people that have never seen the originals, but in this day and age of home theatres and more avenues to rent films that recreate the theatre experience—there’s really no need at all for this many films to be remade.

Hollywood wonders why box office is plummeting? The product is nothing but sequels, remakes, bloated action films and movies so chopped up while they try to achieve as many target audience checkpoints as possible that movies ends up bland and uninteresting. These remakes do not engage or take the audience new places—they are just treading the same manufactured path that’s been filmed over and over and it has to stop!

It’s sad that these movies keep getting made and it’s even sadder that films as wretched and unfunny have a lot of people going to see them as just one hit from a remake or sequel will spawn a dozen imitators. But the general public have low standards I guess, as people were saying that this was funny as I left the theatre. That makes me question the future of our nation as a whole if people like this garbage.

The 2006 Pink Panther has Steve Martin taking over for Peter Sellers. Martin, who used to be funny, has decided he wants to make only the blandest, most unoriginal comedies possible. Maybe all his banjo playing and writing novellas has zapped the funny right out of him? Something has caused him to go downhill and in a hurry.

The story is just a collection of obvious physical comedy bits that makes Clouseau to be an even bigger nitwit than the Blake Edwards’ Clouseau. Sellers Clouseau was not stupid but a bit clumsy and a bit obtuse. Martin plays Clouseau as someone slightly deranged who might struggle to defeat Forrest Gump in a battle for who has the top I.Q.

Martin’s fake French accent is annoying from the first word he utters. Beyonce shows up to wear slinky dresses, sing a few songs and whose role is evidence of exactly what I was talking about earlier—target audience marketing. Her scenes were more like a video or commercial than an acting performance. The script probably described her character as "famous singer" and only later did they even attach a name to it.

But was there another, more sinister force at play regarding this latest version of The Pink Panther? I got the feeling while watching The Pink Panther that it was made by George W. Bush and the current administration as payback for the way the French acted in the early days of the Iraqi War. Remember the way the French acted all high and mighty?

Think about it for a second as it makes perfect sense. Bush, Cheney, Rove etc are masters of the slight of hand. How else can you explain how these people get away with all their shady shenanigans over and over? The release date for The Pink Panther is perfect. Cheney shoots some old Republican flunky in the face with a shotgun and what happens? Bam. The Pink Panther comes out making the French look like idiots, diversion successful.

What better way to make a country look foolish than making a movie full of nothing but French imbeciles (played by American actors adopting goofy French accents) who spend ninety minutes going on about French this and France that while wearing berets, funny socks and acting like morons? Millions of Americans and others around the world would see it in a theatre or buy the DVD no matter how unfunny it is. A simple press conference knocking the French would disappear quicker than snow in the Sahara but unleashing Clouseau onto an unsuspecting world? That’s genius.

So, as an unfunny propaganda film full of furious payback for French actions regarding complex political, military actions the new Pink Panther is quite a success. If you don’t buy into that, it’s just another lame, unfunny remake of a far superior film that people should avoid if at all possible. It's your choice.

Cronenberg does dragster

I have a real soft spot for 1970s cinema of every stripe. This includes drive-in style films that are pulpy, sort of cheesy, yet fun as all get out. Director David Cronenberg is normally connected to strange horror films in this era but in 1979 he made the straight up drag racing picture Fast Company that is unlike any of his early films.

In the 1970s drag racing was a bit of a cult sport with regional strips all over the country and Fast Company tries to tap into that sub-culture. Cronenberg films some intimate, noisy, up close and personal drag racing sequences despite the pure TV movie story about a drag racer who has seen better days and who is trying to rediscover the magic.

Cronenberg likes cars—that much is evident in the way he films them in this and in his later work, Crash for example—and Fast Company is worth seeing for watching Cronenberg’s terrific eye for detail even in a world unlike his usual bizarre universe.

There were also some terrific ‘70s locations as we get a realistic dose of drag strips in Spokane, Helena and other western locales, pool halls and highway after highway with beautiful scenery drifting by outside the windows as the dragsters go to another race.

But this is a pulpy drive-in styled b-film and therefore Cronenberg fills the film with elements that are so natural that a checklist is warranted.
***Dragsters exploding? Check.
***A dose of T + A? Check.
***Bearded pit crew drinking cans of Bud while trading insults? Check.
***Loud engines revving up over and over? Check.
***Threesomes in semi while driving to next race? Check.
***Motor oil poured over a perky naked bosom while engaged in said threesome? Check.
***Funny cars spew white smoke while peeling out? Check.
***Multiple shots of engines being fine tuned while bad ‘70s style rock music about racing plays? Check.
***Fisticuffs and getting smacked in the head with a tire iron while in the pit? Check.
***Over the top acting by unknown cast? Check.
***Dialogue such as: “oohh whee, side by side flame burnout!” or “boy, he’s got more balls than brains” or “it’s a car idn’t? we’re gonna drive that sucker out!” or the classic “where the hell’s Meatball?”

If these are things you are eager to see or want to watch David Cronenberg do dragster, Fast Company is for you, as it's enjoyable '70s drive in all its glory.

Last Android, best picture

The final installment for my favorite movies of 2005 and winner of best ANDROID...

3. Me and You and Everyone We Know. This was one of the most refreshingly different films I saw all year and the first film from performance artist Miranda July. The film follows a group of people—in various stages of isolation and ages, from kids to adults—as they attempt to connect with one another. The film is unabashedly romantic in a quirky kind of way and seems to scream out that to find connections with others in the lonely, isolated world we live it—we will have to be brave and take chances. Me and You and Everyone We Know is not for everyone (I saw it at a free public/press screening and people walked out left and right) but those who are daring will get a sweet, strange and romantic film they aren’t likely to forget.

2. The Squid and The Whale. This film, the most venomous film I’ve ever seen about divorce is this set in ‘80s Brooklyn comedy/drama from Noah Baumbach. It makes seem like a dated, silly piece of Disney fun. Divorce is most often fueled by bitterness so the acerbic quality in this I found refreshingly dark and full of barbed-wire hostility. It’s also one of the smartest scripts you are likely to have the pleasure of hearing all year. These are smart people who get to unleash intelligent diatribes on one another as their family lives crumble. This film makes Kramer Vs Kramer seem like a dated, silly piece of Disney fun. Jeff Daniels gives a career performance as the head case of bitterness. The Squid and The Whale is dark, funny, smart as a whip and honest.

And the ANDROID goes to...

Capote. Capote is not only a riveting story that chronicles how the writer, Truman Capote, wrote his legendary book In Cold Blood, it also tells how the project damaged the man beyond repair. At the heart of the film is a mesmerizing performance by one of the best American actors working today—Philip Seymour Hoffman. It’s a complete transformation by Hoffman that doesn’t have him imitating a character like some recent high profile biopic roles have embraced (Johnny Cash and Ray Price for example) but sees him completely becoming Capote on screen with such a depth it’s hard to believe. Hoffman’s performance is that good. Luckily, the film isn’t just about Hoffman—it’s got a great ensemble cast and is told in an assured, confident and artful way by director Bennett Miller. Terrific in every aspect.

Whew! No more ANDROIDS to hand out.

The rest of the androids minus best picture

Let's just give out the rest of the ANDROIDS right here and now...all except best picture, I'll do the final three and hand that one out tomorrow.

Best Actress, nominees: Rachel Weisz/The Constant Gardener, Amy Adams/Junebug, Joan Allen/The Upside of Anger but the winner for best actress ANDROID:

Catherine Keener! A long time favorite of mine had a great 2005 by appearing in four films and delivering the goods in all four of them. Keener was in The Ballad of Jack and Rose, a drama that had her sharing the screen with the best actor alive, Daniel Day-Lewis. Next was The Interpreter, where Keener played an FBI agent and shared scenes with maybe the second best actor on earth, Sean Penn. The 40 Year-Old Virgin came next and Keener showed she could deliver some comedy zingers in one of my favorites. Lastly, she plays Harper Lee in Capote and is solid yet again. Makes my heart swell to see her give such varied, interesting performances.

Best Director, nominees: Paul Haggis/Crash, Ki-duk Kim/3-Iron, Bennett Miller/Capote, Jim Jarmusch/Broken Flowers but the winner for best director ANDROID:

Ang Lee! Ang has made some terrific pictures in the past but he’s never been in such utter and complete control as he is in his heartbreaking neo-western love story Brokeback Mountain. There’s not a single wasted image in the film and he gets great performances out of the entire cast.

Best Cameo: Kentucky singer Will Oldham shows up at the start of Junebug, bushy mustache and all, and delivers a couple of lines about an outlaw artist in North Carolina. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Oldham appear on screen. I kept hoping he'd show up again but it's a brief cameo.

#8 to #4

8. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Shane Black’s noir satire was a complete and utter surprise when I watched it. The film has a real dark and nasty streak in its barbs and one liners as it really takes on the whole Hollywood mentality as a petty criminal gets involved in murder mystery. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang takes the buddy-crime genre and twists it upside down as Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer trade acerbic one-liners while coming across dead bodies. This was a bomb when released but I'm hoping people will discover at home.

7. Hustle & Flow. This gritty tale set in run down Memphis about a low-rent pimp who dreams of becoming a rap star is just one film with the charismatic Terrence Howard in the cast (Crash is the other). Kind of “Rockyesque” as this small time rap wannabe dreams big. Profane and captivating slice of life story in a world of pimps, rappers, prostitutes and others who dream of making it out of the ghetto.

6. Crash. This is a complicated and challenging film about race in America set among multiple individuals in Los Angeles. Crash is a brave film that has a terrific ensemble cast and a great story that weaves in and out of various characters lives that exposes the prejudices a lot of people still hold onto in this day and age. This is much in the same terrain as other multifaceted and "epic" Los Angeles tales such as Robert Altman's Short Cuts.

5. Brokeback Mountain. While this has a lot of controversy around it in some circles—anyone who’s seen it can’t deny its artistry. Director Ang Lee has crafted a pitch perfect film with near obsessive attention to detail and some of the most beautiful western imagery since the days of John Ford. I love westerns and this film takes the entire genre someplace it has never been before with a heartbreaking story of forbidden love and heartache from multiple characters. One of the most socially important films in years and it took a man from Taiwan to make it.

4. The 40 Year-Old Virgin. Hands down the funniest film released this year is this ribald tale chronicling one man’s attempts to lose his virginity goaded on by less than qualified co-workers. Yes, this film is often pretty filthy, but it’s not only funny it has a very sweet and romantic love story that is actually pro-celibacy when you get right down to it. Dirty, romantic and funny—a wonderful combination in a comedy. All hail the R-rated comedy!

Top 11 films in 2005--#11, #10, #9

As a tribute to the 'Tap, I'll make a Top 11 films for the year as I countdown to the best film ANDROID.

11. A History of Violence. Directed by David Cronenberg and at times a black comedy and a taut, suspenseful film about identity and the hidden nature we all bury below the surface. On first look it's a departure for the notoriously quirky Cronenberg, but if you look beneath the first layers, you’ll see a film with all the complexities he’s been exploring for decades now. A History of Violence is an assured, confident film that never blinks once as it takes you down its path.

10. Serenity. The best science fiction film in years—and this includes the bloated, past its prime Star Wars mess of a franchise—is this film based on the beloved TV series Firefly. I loved Firefly so I was either harder to please as a fan or easier to please because I already loved the characters and didn't want to see them ruined. It is the closest thing to a true western in space you’ll ever see. Serenity is tense, full of adventure, surprising and funny and will live on as a cult classic to those who’ve embraced it.

9. Broken Flowers. Bill Murray gives another stoic performance as a man looking for a possible son in a road trip film from the wonderful and odd Jim Jarmusch. I’m not sure Murray can take this silent act much further but placed in Jarmusch’s world it’s a perfect fit. The usual Jarmusch deadpan comedy and slowness that often feels more like a foreign film than an American one. Broken Flowers is one of Jarmusch's best.

Scorecard for 2005

Call me a film buff, geek, nerd, cineaste, cinephile or cinerobot, I don't care. It's true. Since 1998 I've kept a detailed record of every film I've seen, who I was with, where it was at and other items. Here's the scorecard for 2005. I'll post the career #s for 1998-2005 one of these days.

2005: 228 films seen.

By Month: January--21, February--16, March--20, April--21, May: 12, June--22, July--25, August--14, September--19, October--18, November--20, December--17.

By Decade: 1920-29--1, 1930-39--1, 1940-49--3, 1950-59--1, 1960-69--7, 1970-79--21, 1980-89--16, 1990-99--25, 2000+--154.

In A Theatre: 103

Documentaries: 35

Where I Saw 'Em: Tulsa, Okla.--139, Norman, Okla.--39, Oklahoma City, Okla.--24, Pryor Creek, Okla.--12, New York, NY--7, 1 for Branson, Missouri, Siloam Springs & Springdale, Arkansas, Ft. Worth & Dallas, texas.

By Country: USA--190, England--8, France--5, South Korea--4, 3 for Germany & Thailand, 2 for Italy, Hong Kong & Hungary, 1 for India, Mexico, Japan, China, Sweden, Chile, Denmark & Israel.

Who I Was With: Alone--211, Lillian H--10, Gunter B--7, 4 for Donnie B & Rob S, 2 for Kylie B & Paige B, 1 for Kelly H, Shawn S, Sheri B, Scott B, Shane D, Chuck I & Cameron M.

Tearjerkers: 13

Drive-In: 2

It was a real low year for seeing foreign and older films while also seeing way too many films alone. All things I'm trying to alter in 2006's scorecard.